Thursday, May 10, 2012

Acknowledgement leads to Acceptance

Step three towards change: Acceptance

For the longest time we did not want children.  Surinne is one now and I tell people that wanting to have a baby is about an 18 month old decision for my husband and I.   Just worked out smoothly and quickly.  When people ask, "why did you decide to have a baby?" It was more like we didn't really have a choice anymore, if you know what I mean...
For humor sake I'll recap the conversation that we had when we talked about the subject:

Husband: Do you wanna have a baby?

Me: Why, do you?

Husband: Well, I've been thinking it would be kinda cool

Me: What do you mean, cool?

Husband: Well, we can teach it stuff

Me: What?!?

and so on and so forth...

when in reality this is what flashes through our minds when we start talking about having a baby from each perspective.

Woman:
PHYSICAL BODY CHANGES
EMOTIONAL CHANGES
MENTAL CHANGES
LABOR/DELIVERY (YIKES!)
BREASTFEEDING
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
DIAPER DUTY
CRYING
ALL ON TOP OF NO MORE HEELS, WINE GLASSES (crap!), NORMAL CLOTHES, ETC. FOR ALMOST ONE WHOLE YEAR!
and I believe most of this is just pregnancy related! 

Man:
THINGS TO TEACH OUR BABY: SURF, WATCH TV, SWIM, DRIVE (LATER IN LIFE OF COURSE), GET THINGS FROM THE FRIDGE (MAINLY BEER), EAT
PLAY WITH BABY
NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THE BABY CAUSE IT'S HOME WITH MOMMY
CARRY THE BABY ONLY WHEN MOMMY GETS TIRED
SLEEP DEPRIVATION? WHY DO I HAVE TO GET UP?
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER, BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE MOMMY CAN DO IT.

                                          (Photo courtesy of Caprice Nicole Photography)
             

These thoughts are what lead me to acknowledgement and acceptance.  The decision to have a baby is a commitment, and obviously life-changing.  The more I thought about all this, the more I realized that I had to acknowledge it and then accept my oh so near future once we decided to "try" and have a baby.  I knew I had to acknowledge that not only was my life going to chage, but accept that I was going to become a Mother

A mother is someone who is attentive, caring, nurturing, loving, and present.  I didn't know if I was any of those things, or even if I wanted to be.  But accepting that I was going to have to change, learn, and grow was just a part of the journey...