Monday, October 14, 2013

Being Toddler

Not much has been going on.  I guess except if you count survival on the list of accomplishments...
I have been wondering what to write due to lack of inspiration.  In my attempt to humor you,  I will fill your mind with this thought, as it is the only one on mine!

Life.  Would.  Be.  So.  Much.  Better.  If.  We.  Could.  All.  Be.  Toddlers.

I have decided that this approach to grownupville would make it all the more tolerable, and easier to get through on a day to day basis.

Observe your toddler and this may be something I hope you realize too.

1)  Want something?  Say it very loudly in a sing songy voice like this: "I want Miiiiilllllkkkk!"  End of discussion.

2)  Get mad?  No worries.  Just push it out, throw it down (or at your neighbor's head), and roar like a tiger.  An alternative would be to be to just tantrum it!  Get on the floor, kick, scream, flail, whatever it takes to feel better, for however long you need.  Stop every few seconds to check to see who is watching, then begin again.  This will add drama.

3) Don't like your co-worker?  It's OK.  Tell them straight to their face in order to get it off your chest.  "I don't WANNA work with you!  Go away!"  Then stick your tongue out at them and stomp away in the other direction.  This will definitely get the point across, then tomorrow you can act like nothing happened.

4)  Don't like your home lunch?  Scream at it, throw it on the ground (or again, at your neighbor), and flail your hands in the air as you start crying.  This will surely get some attention and possibly even a trade for some chocolate chip cookies from a friend just cause they pity you and your momma's poor nutritional choices.  Another option is to just eat someone else's.  Come on!  You know you wanna reach across the table and grab that greasy grimey cheesy pizza concoction that is right over there....

5) Hate cleaning up after yourself?  That's OK.  There is nothing wrong with keeping things out all over the floor.  It's more fun to kick them out of your way as you walk anyway.  Also, how else are you supposed to find your favorite item quickly?

6)  Everything going wrong?  When in doubt of your day, your skills, and your attitude, just hug momma.  Everything will be better in a few short seconds of hugs.

Anything else to add?  This list can go on and on and on....