Saturday, April 28, 2012

An Explanation...

I feel like there are times when I have to explain myself.  In the most recent past I kept hearing people say "you're crazy" or "I'm sure you'll wish you didn't say that!"  Well to be honest I'm not crazy and I do not wish to take back anything I have said about me, the baby, and our journey.

I know myself...
I know my baby...
I know for sure that babies freak me out!  Figuratively, literally, in reality, all of the above.  I have always felt this way.  I can distinctly remember a number of times where friends of mine would plop their babies in my lap, walk away with them in the stroller by me, pass them off to me, etc and I always froze.  My thought has always been "what am I supposed to do with this thing?" 

I have always been better with toddlers.  They can talk to you, choose things that they want to do, tell you if they are mad, sad, happy, much easier is that?!  I had a job in college working at the on campus day care and I loved it.  I got to act like a 4 year old at the end of most of my school days.  I got to climb the gym, color, tickle, throw snowballs, build snowmen, and all the good stuff! 

When I said that I (guiltily) HATED breastfeeding, I meant it.
When I said that I was (guiltily) GLAD when I stopped breastfeeding, I meant it.
When I said that I was glad that my baby started eating food food, I meant it. 
So when I said that I couldn't wait for my baby to walk, I meant it.
And now when I say that I am sooo glad my baby is walking, I mean it.
And yes, I CANNOT WAIT for my baby to start talking.  I really mean it. 

Am I sad that my baby is growing up?  Yeah, but not really.  I knew that I was NOT going to enjoy having a newborn around.  It wasn't for lack of sleep.  I am always tired anyway, am a horrible sleeper, and have a hard time going back to sleep when awoken, so that wasn't much of a change.  It wasn't for lack of preparation.  We took childbirth classes, breastfeeding class, and the like.  Plus we were had A BABY!  Life was supposed to change, our routine was supposed to change, our priorities were supposed to change!  All of a sudden, I knew that I couldn't wait for her to be a little girl.

I don't feel like knowing all this has prompted change, I think it has just come to be change.  I feel that when the time in life comes for growth, change, and responsibility, your being automatically just manages.  I found that despite all the input coming from all directions in my life on being a mother, I simply just did.  Was it what I was supposed to do?  Who knows, but I can tell you that it worked for us: my husband, myself, and most importantly our baby.  So I guess that's the explanation.  I know what I know about us, and I definitely know that what we do works. 

Our baby is clearly also glad that she is walking as evidenced by this video!  All I can say is "yay for walking!" I guess.


  1. I can really relate to this post! I love the video! How cute!

    1. I'm glad that others share my sentiments! Thanks for reading...